Hong Kong Police Stories

From: "Nish" <leclerc@netfront.net>
To: "Yamaha Virago Motorcyle Discussions" <virago@itg.uiuc.edu>
Subject: Hong Kong Police Stories
Date: Friday, March 16, 2007 11:48 AM

I was born and raised in Le Mans, the city of the 24h race events.It's got 24h bike races of course but also cars, trucks, mopeds and even roller skates as well as other events throughout the year which drag bunches of visitors driving all sorts of vehicles. I grew up seing my town invaded each years by crowds of bikers coming from all horizons to see the "Bol d'Or" which was organised there until the late 70's. I tested two models of french police chase cars on the Bugatti Circuit once thanks to my uncle !!! That was fun !

That town breeds the best pilots of all kind... now you understand why I'm bored with HK traffic and regulations ? I grew up with a red crashed MV Agusta parked in my garage that belonged to the dead son of some friends of my parents. I was 16, riding my "tuned up" Peugeot 49cc moped when I ran my first police chase through the city ! And I wasn't getting caught then, coz no plates required ! Just them and me ! :)))

However I've spent more than half of my life in HK and now, most of my adult hongkongese students weren't even born yet when I first stepped foot here so... am I still just French ? Doesn't feel that way when I go back... Now I'm just a Virago guy. ;)

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I was riding from Causeway Bay towards Wanchai one day in order to do a U-turn back towards the Cross-Harbour Tunnel (always wondered why I have to go that far when the tunnel is actually almost at my doorstep but well...)

I was following a cop rider and there, right in front of me, he crossed a double continuous lane to ride left onto the flyover that leads to the tunnel.

Alright then, I do the same and follow him. Sure enough, he stops his sad overweight bike on the flyover and makes a sign for me to stop. So I do.

Cop: "Hey Sir, you've crossed a double line ! Show me your licence."

Me: "Hey Sir, you've crossed a double line before me ! Show me your licence first !"

Cop (laughing): "But I'm a policeman on duty ! I can cross double lines ! So show me your licence."

Me (laughing): "Yes, sure you can, but you've got to have your blinking blue lights on ! Let me take your number."

Cop (not laughing anymore): "Alright then. You may go."

So I guess, learn your rights coz it felt so good ! :))

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There was that particularly violent encounter once with that fat cop near Henessy Rd as I was on my way to Stubb's Rd to teach a class.

I was in kind of a hurry when I had to slow down because of a cretin cop rider who was swinging his 250cc from left to right along the avenue ! I couldn't believe it but then again, this is Hong Kong so I guess nothing should come as a surprise (how much local nonsense is explained that way every day, I wonder ?).

I just horned that moron and passed him over. I thought I heard some yelling and perhaps even his horn but I didn't give much attention and stopped at the next red traffic lights.

That's when I heard him yelling behind me. I looked back and there he was, fat and sweaty, gesticulating on his bike and ordering me to pull aside !!! :))

Laughing, I asked him how I could pull over since we were stopped at the lights.

He screamed: "Park your bike on the side !"

I screamed back: "No way ! This is a zebra crossing, it's illegal to park there !"

The lights went green so I geared up and rode to the opposite side of the road, parked my bike along the sidewalk and waited for the cop there. I guess he thought I was running away coz he almost crashed before parking his moped behind me. He was enraged.

He screamed at me: "Are you trying to run away !?" And he pull his handcuffs from his belt.

Now he got me real angry. I screamed back: "I'm not running away, I park where it's legal and safe to do so ! It's like your riding, I guess you need more training in arresting vehicles..." and pointing at the handcuffs: "Now you tell me what you wanna do with this ? What do you have against me anyhow ? May I know ?"

Fat Cop (still mad with anger): "You horned me !"

Me: "Yes, of course ! Have you seen how you were driving ? Are you mad ?"

Fat Cop : "It is illegal to pass over another vehicle in town !"

Me (screaming in his face): "Are you kidding me ? You were driving dangerously, I horned and passed you over. What's wrong with that ? So now you tell me, are you going to charge me with anything in which case we both go right now to the police station and I will report your attitude to your boss or will you just let me go and teach my class since you're making me late ?!"

He couldn't speak, he looked at me like he was going to burst into tears or shoot me in the head but he just waved his hand away, letting me go.

That one didn't feel as good as the first story coz that idiot really managed to piss me off and made me wonder if I could really expect anything but trouble from the local police.

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My first encounter with a local cop rider was a good one. Well, no encounter at all would have been even better but I'm not a lucky guy.

I had just got my first bike !!!

Gee, I was so happy. I had to wait 26 years for it !!! That meant more than a decade of dreaming and learning about it and trying tricks on my 49cc moped instead !

That bike just fell on me too ! It all came as a surprise. One of my student, an Australian guy who was married with a French, had invited my wife and me to a dinner at his home in Happy Valley. The conversation came to bikes. That's when he told me he had an old Yamaha 350cc parked down his building and he was willing to let me have it for a few private lessons in French if I was interested !

Was I !!!!

He managed to kick it on but he had only one helmet. I was living near the Chinese University at that time and it was getting late. So I just gave the helmet to my wife and decided to try my luck like I used to when I was younger.

The luck worked until out of the Lion's Rock tunnel but just before I got to pay the fee, a cop rider stopped us.

"I guess you know why ?" he said.

"Well, yes... er... no helmet right ? But well, I just got this bike you see, it's my first bike ever and that guy I got it from had only one helmet so... I'm just riding the bike back home and I'll get helmets tomorrow when the shops are open, I swear !"

He looked at the licence. I had no idea what it was. He said:

"You know your licence has expired ?"

I said I didn't even know there was a licence. It was true, he saw it.

I asked: "Do you at least have a driving licence ?"

I said: "Oh yes ! But it is at home now. You see, I really wasn't expecting to come back with a bike !"

He said: "You're not supposed to ride without your driving licence you know !"

Then he looked at me, probably saw how shitty I felt, and had a smile. He said:

"I'm going to let you go without charging you this time. Go back home now and leave the bike there. First you have to fix that licence and get an insurance. Then be sure to get these helmets and drive carefully, ok ?"

"Yes, thank you very much, I appreciate. I'll drive as safely as possible, don't worry."

"Ok, then, be safe. Bye"

That's what I call a nice professional. I didn't feel lucky, I felt warm. That guy cared. He wasn't there to play macho or earn the Gvt a few extra bucks, he was there coz he felt he could help and he was doing a jolly good job.

I won't forget that time either coz it was nice to deal with a human being with a heart and a brain rather than with an cold, arrogant or brutal repression machine !

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Hong Kong drivers are terrorized by the police !

One day, I was riding back home on the Tolo Highway and there was that car that kept on slaloming and changing lanes in front of me, preventing me from passing over. I was riding a black roadbike then, black helmet and I usually dress in black too. I didn't look like a cop at all, or maybe a negative !

When I finally managed to reach the side of that car, next to the driver, I took the same sitting position as a cop rider (let's call it the leek position), I horned once to make him look at me and I waved my left arm to indicate him to pull over just like a cop would do. Believe me or not but the guy DID pull over !!! I was laughing so much inside my helmet, I just had to pull over in front of him ! I took my sweet time to get a serious face again, turned back towards the guy and just waved my finger at that naughty driver but obedient good boy before storming back on the highway. :))

I think HK's population is traumatized by it's police ! :)))

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In my country, we envy the Brits for having a good police. Human that is. You couldn't tell by looking at the pictures of riots there but still, the legend goes around. Well, I was fortunate enough to experience it first hand one night as I had parked my dear ol' 2CV Citroën (that's a car yes, I know, yuk !) right on a sidewalk of London next to the public phone where I was having a conversation with a spliting lady. I saw the cop coming so I just pushed the booth door open and said: I'm coming !

He waited until that lady on the phone had finally split and told me I was not properly parked. And without waiting for any excuses, he looked at my plates and said: "Oh, you are French ? Are you on vacation ?" I said yes. So he just looked at me and said: "Well, enjoy your stay Sir, but do not park on sidewalks please !"

And that was it.

Civilized.

Polite.

Courteous.

No breast.

Wow...

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Some bad cops here in Hong Kong and in many other places (try USA or France !!!) expect more than common politeness from the citizen. They'd like submission. They don't realize that they're just doing a job like anyone else. Ah ! Power ! :)

And when u give power to people with low degree of education and/or low IQ, you end up with nightmarish kafkaian situations.

I was once walking the streets in Wanchai with my Hongkongese wife. At one point we crossed a street, by looking left and right that is, not by waiting for the green signal (yeah we can do that in France, we're granted the right to use our brains) but on the other side, we got separated by the crowd. Once on the sidewalk, I turned and couldn't find my wife anymore. Then I saw her making signs at me as she'd been arrested by one of those street cops.

I went to her and asked what was wrong. She said she'd been arrested for crossing the road at the wrong signal.

Me: "Why you and not me then ?"

Her: "I dunno..."

Me: "Ask the cop then."

So she does.

Her: "She says, she can't speak english."

Me: "You mean, she didn't arrest me because she can't speak english but she arrested you because she can speak cantonese ?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "This is outrageous ! Fine ! Tell her I wanna talk to a cop who can speak english."

My wife, not too sure of what was going on, tells her cop to call someone who can speak english. The cop calls.

Two minutes later, a policeman arrives and asks what's wrong. I explain.

Me: "My wife here and me, crossed the street when the signal was red. My wife got arrested and charged but not me. May I know why ?"

Cop: "Yes, you're lucky !"

Me: "I don't wanna be lucky, I want things to be fair."

Cop (surprised): "You mean, you wanna be charged too ?"

Me: "Doesn't that sound fair to you ? How many laws are there in Hong Kong ? One for the locals and one for the gweilos ? Do you find that normal ?"

Cop: "Ok, then, give me your ID card."

A few weeks later, my wife and me received a letter ordering us to go to court at 9a.m in Pokfulam. We went and there was a crowd of people in the courtroom. I was the only gweilo. Everybody was there for about the same offense and received the same penality.

When my turn came, I stood up and, in perfect english, I requested a french translator.

The judge pulled out of his half-sleep and looked at me, surprised. He asked:

Judge: "But you seem to speak english properly, are you sure you need a translator ?"

Me: "The matter seems of such importance, Sir, seeing all these people in court for having crossed streets at the wrong signal ! I guess this is an extremely important issue in Hong Kong and therefore I think a translator would be safer, just in case."

The Judge was no cretin and he felt something was wrong. So he told me to step forward and come in front of him.

Judge: "What really is the problem, Sir ?"

Me: "Well, in fact I just want to ask you a question. May I ?"

Judge: "Please do."

Me: (showing the crowd behind me) "Well, as you can see, Sir, I am the only foreigner in this court. All these people are here today, missing on their jobs, for having crossed the street at the wrong signal. Well, Sir, if I am here today, that's because I demanded to be. My Hongkongese wife was arrested as we both crossed the street at the same time but only her was arrested. I had to insist in order to be charged as well. And I am yet to see any foreigners fined for that particular reason. So, excuse my curiosity but my question is: Are there two laws in Hong Kong about jay walking ? One for the locals and one for the foreigners ?"

Somehow, I could feel the judge didn't like my question too much. He tried to turn around it by asking me if I was pleading guilty or not which of course I was but when I finally repeated my question, with all that crowd behind me waiting for an answer, he finally gave up and said:

Judge: "Well, the staff that we employ to control the streets isn't highly educated, their salary is pretty low so we can't ask for highly skilled persons. Most of them simply don't speak any other language but cantonese. That's why you weren't arrested but your wife was."

Me: "Thank you, Sir. I'm getting a much clearer picture ! But isn't that the equivalent of having two distinct laws ?""

Judge: "One hundred and twenty dollars fine ! Payable now at the counter downstairs !"

Me: "Certainly Sir, it was well worth it !"

Well don't you think that with the billions the Gvt saved in budget, it could afford raising the standards of cops hiring requirement ? Hiring a bunch of ignorant bullies isn't going to help Hong Kong have a better social atmosphere or reputation nor reaching a higher degree of civilisation, and it certainly won't help erase discrimination and human right abuses (check what Wikipedia says about HK Police...)

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The worst case of police abuse I've personally experienced in Hong Kong was the day I've been accused in court of having tried to run over three cops with my car.

I don't like sharing my lunch with colleagues in noisy school canteens so I usually jumped in my car and rushed to Repulse Bay for a quick treat at the fast food. There weren't many spots to park in Repulse Bay at that time. Parking in front of the fast food restaurant was illegal, despite of the road markings that let drivers think it's ok to do so, yes, another one of these ticket traps someone likes to set a bit everywhere in this town, a very successful one as I could generally observe.

That day, I was on my way back to my car from the restaurant, still holding my can of soda when I spotted that girl cop giving a ticket to the van parked in front of my car.

I went straight to her and said:

Me: "That red car behind is mine. Please don't give it a ticket, I'll just go to the bin to throw my can and I leave."

Girl Cop: "OK, sure !"

I walk the few steps that separate me from the bin and throw my can. I turn back and what do I see ? Right ! My cop is now busy reading my car licence and she writes me a ticket ! I wonder if she stopped giving the van his ticket to be able to write mine before I could leave !? Yeah, that's probably it ! That'll teach me to trust cops ! I'm fuming !

So I walk back to my car. The cop's standing in the street next to my licence on the windshield. A little higher in the street, a police van is parked on the left. I get into my car, put the key in the ignition and start the engine. I yell at the cop: "Can you hurry up collecting, you slimmy little piece of cheat !? I got better things to do than wait for you all day !" and I press hard on the accelerator in a quick impatient rythm.

The cop, probably not feeling completely innocent, has a jump aside, unable to tell if I'm in neutral or in gear. Frightened I might just drive away before she's finished writing her ticket, she yells at the police van for two male cops to get out. They do.

One of them walks towards me, passes in front of my car and comes standing on the sidewalk, next to my driver door. My window's down so he passes his arm through it to take my keys from the ignition.

I grab his wrist before he reached them and ask:

Me: "My car is private property, do you have a warrant ?"

Cop: "Ok, ok. But why so angry ?"

Me: "Oh so now you care about my feelings ? Too late ! Hurry up with this ticket so I don't need to see your faces any longer !"

The cop tells the girl to hurry. She does. Then she leans over my bonnet (that made me happy coz my car was really dirty) and passes the ticket to the cop standing on my right. He hands it to me.

Me: "You guys pretended I wasn't here so how about you continue to do so ? You better put that ticket on my windshield as if I wasn't here coz I won't take it for your hand !"

Cop: "But..."

Me: "There's no "but". Hurry up or I just leave without it !"

So he does before walking back to his van with the two others.

A few weeks later, I receive a letter asking me to present myself in court, under the charge of having almost ran over three police agents !

Wow ! There was a new one ! So the little creeps didn't like my special treatment ? But I'm an optimist, I didn't do anything wrong, that accusation was a lie and justice WOULD prevail, it's in the order of things ! I just never imagined Hong Kong police could be as lame as the French cops... yeah they too had tried a similar trick on me and had ended up being sorry for it although their accusation was much less serious then.

So I just went to court that morning thinking things were going to be a repeat of my jay walking incident, a good laugh. I was wrong.

I was the only person there. No other offender but me. That court was just for my case ! The three cops were in their box and a court translator was ready to operate. The judge came in and we all stood. He briefly checked the file in front of him, starred at me and, with a severe but surprised tone of voice, he said:

Judge: "Are you here alone Sir ? Don't you have anyone to represent you ?"

Now, I'm the surprised one ! You mean a lawyer ? Hey I haven't got money to pay a lawyer ! This is a crap accusation anyway ! I didn't do anything wrong so I don't need a lawyer.

Judge: "You do realise how serious this case is ? I strongly advise you to be represented. I can postpone the court appearance and a lawyer can be provided to you if you haven't got the means to hire one yourself."

Me: "No, no, thanks. As I said, I haven't done anything wrong so I guess the truth will simply come to light."

Judge: "As you wish Sir but I hope you do know what you're doing because once the sentence is given, there won't be any going back."

I nod. I got it. Time to be smart...

The whole morning was spent questioning the three cops one by one, making them swear to tell the truth and only the truth and then having their testimonies noted down and translated. They all said the same thing: first the truth as things really had happened and then the lies. According to them, after having received my ticket, I had started my car in such a hurry that they almost got hit by it and had to jump aside to avoid being injured.

I remained calm and silent the whole act, just trying to make eye contact with them as they were talking but they avoided it.

When the three of them had finished their "honest" testimony, the judge declared it was time for lunch. I left the courtroom with the three cops grinning in my back. I just gave them a cold look. What despicable liars !

I went to lunch but I wasn't very hungry. I thought I might not even make it back home that day. I was scared but I didn't want to call my wife and tell her what was really going on. You just don't call your wife in the middle of a fight, it's distabilizing. So I started thinking instead. How the hell do I get out of that mess ? My little non-existent self against three assermented shitheads. I'd better make it good and obvious or I was dead meat ! And then it came to me. Simple as hell !!!

Time to go back to court. Damn, it better work though, I ain't got any other idea. It's all or nothing...

Judge: "Well Sir, it is now your turn to speak. You may address the accusing party directly and ask any questions you like."

Me: "Thank you. I address my first question to the officer who stood next to my driver's door during the whole process. Could you please tell us where you were exactly standing. Were you on the sidewalk or in the street ?"

Cop: "I was standing on the sidewalk."

Me: "Correct and could you say what distance my car was from the sidewalk where you stood ?"

Cop: "You were parked close to the sidewalk by about that distance" he said showing a width of about 10 centimeters with his two hands.

Me : "Correct. Now, what was the distance between the van parked in front of me and the front of my car ?"

Cop: "About that" he said showing again a distance of about 30 centimeters.

Judge: "Excuse me for interrupting you, but I hope you know where you're going with these questions because I don't understand why you ask them."

Me: "Just one more question, the last one. Please."

Judge: "Fine, go ahead."

Me: "What was the distance between the back of my car and the car behind me ?"

The judge has a movement of incomprehension but doesn't say a word.

Cop: "About that" showing again about 30 centimeters.

So I turned towards the judge and said:

Me: "I guess we can say that I was well parked, close to the sidewalk and with a moving distance that didn't allow me to start my car without several manoeuvres. I had to reverse, then go forward, then reverse again, then forward, all that takes time so I hardly see how I could have possibly ran over anyone in these conditions. By the time I could get away from my parking spot, these three police people were already safely inside their van !"

Judge: "My God you're right !"

Addressing the three cops: "You three, I want to see you in my office right now ! Sir, please wait here, it won't be long."

Indeed, they all came back after about ten minutes. From the faces of the three liars, I could tell I had won my case. The judge wasn't very happy either. He said:

Judge: "First let me reassure you, no further action will be taken against you. The three accusing parties have each received a blame for their doings and lies. However, and I think that's part of the picture too, your attitude towards them, if not justifies, at least provoked their anger. After all, you were wrongly parked."

Me: "But I remained polite the whole time. I'm the one who was cheated by the woman officer."

Judge: "Yes, and when you realized that, you weren't very happy, were you ?!"

Me: "I don't think anyone smiles when receiving tickets, you know..."

Judge: "Anyway you may go but... I hope this won't ever happen again..."

Me: "Me too ! Thank you very much. Good bye.

If the hateful eyes of the three cops had been guns, when I crossed their path in the court's corridor on my way out that day, I would have taken six bullets straight in the head ! :))

But as I said, the truth always prevail and no uniform will ever change that.

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My friend Simon, a Hong Kong born Brit who can speak cantonese fluently, had to give up his job as a DJ on RTHK after a bad crash with a taxi which broke his jaw in three places.

You know how it is in HK, speeding is dangerous but for taxis or minibuses, making sudden stoppies anywhere at any time and at any cost must be a perfectly valid way to drive since I'm still to see any cop penalizing these dangerous morons.

So Simon, having to give up bikes for a little while, was half-parked on the sidewalk one day in his little car. His engine was on and he was in the driver sit so there's nothing cops can do except tell you to leave.

Two cops arrived and saw his car badly parked. Now Simon speaks cantonese like a local so here is what he heard:

Cop 1: "Look that car ! Hey, check it out ! It's a gweilo ! I'm going to nail him !"

At that point, Simon got out of his car and asked that shithead cop directly in cantonese:

Simon: "Sorry, what did you just say ?"

The cop changed colour.

But immediatly the other cop next to him said:

Cop 2: "Oh, me, I didn't hear anything !"

That's how fachist discriminative cops end up being rightfully hated and despised by car drivers and bikers alike !

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A couple of years ago, I decided to get back on my wheels and a friend gave me an old 250cc dirt bike to play with first.

I immediately headed to the chinese border, remembering that there used to be a 4x4 military vehicle training dirttrack not far around Shau Tau Kok borderline that had given me much fun in the late 80's. (I'm still looking for it...)

I dunno how but by taking little roads left and right and crossing some pre-dirt tracks, but still seeing houses around, I ended up in the no-man's land ! I was riding left along a thick wall with rolls of barbwires on top directed toward us... (I wonder why !?!?) and felt something was about to be wrong when I saw a uniform wearing bicycle rider. I stopped and asked him what town was in front of me, was it Fanling or something, I think I'm a bit lost ?

Cop: "Do you have your licence ?"

Me: "Yes of course... but what city is it ? Can you tell me please ?"

Cop: "This is Shenzhen. Show me your licence."

I do but nope, that wasn't the licence he meant of course. I was in the no-man's land and needed a no-man's land permit ! Ha !

Well noone had stopped me and I hadn't seen any guard at all the whole ride. But damn, after my cop called, all of a sudden truckloads of cops came by ! I guess they were the guards supposed to have stopped me on the way at some sort of guard point I didn't even see ? Perhaps they were having fun somewhere instead like those cops who used to come near my house in Cheung Shue Tan everyday in plain uniform, with their blue jeep, to play mahjong all day in the backroom of the village shop (at least those ones never caught me speeding !). :))

It took nearly an hour of examining both my papers and my bike (they didn't like it coz it was old and dirty and therefore suspicious - don't tell them I know, I'm not supposed to understand cantonese at all...), going to the postguard I had not even seen, being interrogated and all. Being simply on a lonely ride and not having any particular destination was a tough one to get through but finally they let me go with a warning that if they ever saw me again, big troubles would fall on me !

Yeah ? Like what ? Being shot in the head and the cost of the bullet being sent to my parents ? The stamp alone costs more than the bullet ! Not worth it ! :)

What kind of free land is this anyway ? Ain't you all frustrated with riding the same roads all the time, playing every combinaisons of Big Wave Bay - Shau Tau Kok ? There's a large country up there which I'd like to ride on, not you ? It's been ten years HK returned to China, isn't it about time the roads open up to everyone, not just the polluting factory owners ? Why wait ?

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Here is the way I got away from my last jay walking ticket !

When I saw that cop pointing at me for having started crossing that avenue like three seconds before the green signal, I thought "enough is enough" and instead of crossing the second half of the avenue, I walked along the middle lane with him chasing me along the sidewalk and yelling at me to stop. So I did stop, turned back, stuck my middle finger in my mouth then lifted it up at him while yelling the proper accompanying words. He just froze, totally shocked, having never seen such an insolence... so I just left. :)))

I think 500 of our car burning suburbian french kids would be enough to turn this Hello Kitty town into chaos. ;)

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Hong Kong Biker Blues (written last wet season)

The raining season has started, it's pouring buckets, the humidity level is
really high and everything is sticky. With the high degree of air pollution
we have, it coats the bike real nice in just a few kilometers, perfect
finish for the Rat Bike Show, better not wear white clothes in here...

Riding in Hong Kong is just unbelievable, a strange mixture of nonsense and
regulations melted into a constant traffic jam. We drive the British side on
only 1831km of roads, most of it in town with neon signs hanging from high
rise buildings above our heads. The streets are filled with walls of
double-deckers that completly block the view in front of you and the signs
on the sides, with mini-buses that basically race through the crowd but do
stoppies when there's a passenger to pick up from the sidewalk. Taxis do the
same and they come in crowds. These three categories of vehicles are the
most leathal and unpredictable. I was hit once by a double-decker that had
burned a traffic lights... I was thrown out of my bike by a mini-bus one
morning in a tunnel so bad the bike made a loop in the air and ended up
smashed on both ends ! One of my mate broke his jaw in three parts after
landing in the open trunk of a taxi. Tell ya, gotta be crazy to ride in this
place !

Now the rest of the road is occupied by private car owners. Those are cute.
They drive big shiny cars. Benz, Porshes, Rolls Royces, Lexus, large Toyotas
and of course all these fancy SUV that weren't exactly built for Hong Kong
narrow streets and roads. They love their cars but they lack experience and
basically they don't know how to drive, resulting in them thinking they have
to brake in the curves when driving a BMW brand new 4x4 eventhough they're
only driving 30 km/h ! But when u finally get to pass them over, they, of
course, accelerate because they think they're losing face.

If u don't wanna suffocate, u just have to ride between the lanes of cars.
Lots of them drivers hate that, they fear for their paint so they squeeze.
I'm glad my pipes are loud, they help frighten them but I still have to
slalom my way through, crossing double lines in the process and risking
losing more points on my licence because the local police, instead of trying
to make bikers life safer, sees it instead as an opportunity to give more
tickets.

Time to time, I go on a quiet ride along the coast line of Victoria island.
It's a nice ride, lots of views on the China Sea, cute islands, blue sky,
curvy as hell with ups and downs. It should be cool but every three
kilometers, the traffic suddenly stops either because there's work in
progress over one lane or because two double deckers are trying to cross in
a narrow turn. Lots of cable work had to be done lately underneath the road
so they digged right in the middle of the lane. Then u know how it is, first
it's the cable TV network, then the Internet network, then this then that
and we end up with some kind of dirt bike track in the middle of each lanes,
where I try to ride. I had a dirt bike... I sold it for the Virago, oh well.

When the road's too bad, they scrap the surface and put large metal plates
in it. With 95% humidity in a tropical climate, they might prove to be great
training
places for professional skaters but, tell ya, you wouldn't put 70% of your
pulling on the front brakes there ! Nor on the numerous sewage plates that
seem to multiply freely in the turns of this town...

Well yeah, u might say I feel a bit blue today. Took a ride yesterday night
between two showers, it hasn't stopped raining yet and she's downstairs,
standing in the street, getting poured on and I only have that poor cover
which is already soaked as hell. I know she's cold and wet and I won't ride
her today coz I haven't got that rain suit with the anti-burn patch on the
right leg that should be perfect with my hot custom pipes. She started ok
yesterday eventhough she was so wet. I could tell when I first turned the
throttle, she just was sooo weak until she warmed up a little and started
fuming. By the time I returned she had dried up and she shined again. I
lovingly wiped her with a clean cloth and just as I covered up again with
that humid mean cover, the rain started pouring again. I gotta do something
for the poor thing, before she totally melts and disappears ! :)

Nish

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